How I came out to my wife's friends

#coming out  #my life  #transgender  #transition 

Tomorrow, I will be coming out as transgender at work and I will be posting the letter I’m sending to my coworkers here, but a few days ago, my wife and I finally told the remainder of her friends about my transition. Unlike my friends, we’d been keeping it a secret from her friends. Anyway, I wanted to share the letter I sent to them.

Hi everyone, there is something I am really excited about and wanted to share with you. I’m not sure if this will be a shock or not at this point. If we’re friends on Facebook, I’m guessing probably not…

I am transgender. I’ve been transgender my whole life, I can’t remember ever not feeling the way I do. Last year, I finally came to the realization that I have to transition and I can’t keep living a lie anymore. I really wasn’t happy and, to be honest, pretty much hated myself. I came to a point where I knew it was time to be more honest with myself about what I’ve always very consciously known. As much as I pretended to be one, I am not a man, nor do I want to be one or pretend to be one anymore. I am, in fact, a woman and I always have been.

When I came to accept this, the decision to go ahead with transition—something I’ve spent the last ten years thinking about a lot—was easy. Since then, May 2012, I’ve slowly been going through transition and making the changes to myself and my life to enable me to live more honestly and accurately with who I truly am.

In the interest of being brief and not repeating the twelve page coming out letter I sent my parents, I’ll basically leave it at that for now, but if you are curious to know more or actually have no idea what being transgender means, please feel free to ask me.

Going forward, I am asking for you to start referring to me as Amelia and using female pronouns (she/her/hers), as my friends and family have been for more than a year now. I also ask that you no longer refer to me as ’s “husband,” however, I will let decide and tell you if you should refer to me as her wife, partner, or something else. On November 1, I will be going “full time,” but I spend most of my time outside of work as Amelia already. So the next time you see me, I will be presenting myself differently than you are used to. However, I think you will realize I’m still mostly the same person you’ve met and known for the last few years. I am a lot nicer and pleasant to be around, but still mostly the same person!

Thank you for taking a moment to read this, I know it may seem like this really huge thing and it has been a huge change in my life, but I’ve finally reached a point in my life where I’ve stopped hating myself and my life. It’s quite the opposite now, I’m already much happier. I know being transgender isn’t exactly held in high regard by most of society, but I hope you will be able to be both supportive and positive.

Thank you!